2017 was by far one of the best years of my life. Did I get a new house? No. Did I get a new car? No. So the question becomes, how did I win? At the beginning of 2017 I told myself that it was very important that I decided and I determine what makes me happy. I didn’t want outside influences telling me that the only way to actually see success was to buy expensive items or have a bunch of money. This year I would define my happiness and I did!
When I started 2017 I was very overweight, I was sickly, and I was losing my desire to stay in business. I knew I needed a change. After prayer and meditation I had this moment where I realized the change I needed was in my habits and mindset. I wasn’t going to do that surface fix. You know, just working out and going to the doctor, and pushing myself everyday to go to my office hoping I’d eventually start to like it again. No, I took a different approach.
I realized I was unhappy with myself and depended on too many outside influences for my validation. I had to ask myself what was happening to me that I was a walking ball of negativity. In Feb 2016 I lost my godfather. He was literally a second father to me and it broke my heart and my spirit. He had cancer, and up to the time of his death I thought I had a great relationship with God. I prayed daily for my Uncle Louge. I just thought he would pull through. I never even prepare myself for a time he wouldn’t be there. And then I get this call and I’m told he was gone…
I was angry. I couldn’t feel. I continued to go through the motions and go to church and pray and read the Bible, but I never let it penetrate my heart. I was too scared to question’s God’s decision to take my godfather away. Instead of being angry at God, I took that emotion out on myself and I let myself go. Slowly I became so ugly that I started to hate looking in the mirror. I became depressed and didn’t care.
When 2017 hit I just knew that I had to change. I couldn’t be this person. I didn’t want to get worse. I confronted God, He put me in my place and He let me know He needed me for more. Not this ugly me, but the better me. I devoted all of 2017 to being a better me. I wanted to be the woman God needed in order to further the kingdom. I changed small habits. I put down the sodas and started drinking water. I started listening to more inspirational messages. I stop listening to so much hiphop/rap. I stop eating pork and beef. I started giving more. I worked out, not to loose weight, but it was good time for me to talk to God. I started sleeping my full 7 hours. I started spending more time with my husband. I started being really interested in my client’s projects and their success. I started strengthening my relationship with my family and friends. I laughed more. I smiled more. I loved more. And slowly things begin to change.
I started loving myself. I came to terms with my godfather’s death. As result, the weight dropped, my friendships strengthened, I starting making more money, my marriage got stronger, I traveled, and just saw the world differently.
In 2017 I won my life back from the evil that wanted to take my hope away. 2018 will be even better because instead just trying to be a better me, I going to be the best me I can be. I plan winning 2018 too.