I’ve seen a growing number of men become more vocal on a topic that doesn’t really require their opinion. Seeing the comments can be compared to nails scratching against a chalkboard. I cringe at the sight of a man insisting a woman wear her hair a certain way. I’m in my thirties and still don’t have a complete grasp on why a man cares about the style of a woman’s hair. Am I missing something? Is it a “guy thing” that has them thinking that the way we wear our hair is solely to please them? I’m all for suggestions, but to demand or question my style choice, well that just leaves my mind in this gray haze.
One of the most infamous leaders of this whole “how women should wear their hair” movement is Meek Mills. I would think he has enough on his plate with staying out of jail and working on his justice reform efforts, being an artist, and being a father. But no, he has time to get online and vocalize his distaste for women who wear lace fronts. No, he doesn’t speak out against bad mothers. He wants to vilify women who wear lace fronts. All the things one could be doing with their time and he decides, hey, “let’s start a movement against lace fronts”.
Then we have Lil Duval who showed his distaste for women who like to wear their hair natural and free. He says he just doesn’t like the wild “fro” look. So, absolutely no one ask your opinion and again, instead of focusing on your career and personal affairs, you want to vocalize your distaste for how black women’s hair naturally grows.
There were two guys on my facebook timeline that wrote a full post on how they don’t want women who use chemicals in their hair and why don’t we just wear our hair natural. Again, they were unsolicited comments that have me thinking, WHY DO YOU EVEN CARE?
Think about this, here we are in 2019 and laws are just now being passed that stops companies from discriminating against us for how we wear our hair. Black women are constantly subjected to everyone having an opinion on how they should wear their hair. NO ONE IS EVER HAPPY. If it’s not an employer, it’s a celebrity. If it’s not a celebrity, its a random guy on facebook with nothing else to talk about other than how he prefers a black woman to wear her hair. At no point do these parties stop to understand what goes into doing our hair, they just want the results. At no point does anyone offer up any help or money. They just want the results. Results that will make them feel comfortable.
Now we get to the root of why black women just can’t be happy and free. For some reason, along the way, a black woman’s feelings just stop mattering. If we are in a room, we have to make sure everyone around us is comfortable with our presence. We can’t talk too loud or we may be asked to leave. We can’t wear bright colors or we’re considered “hood”. We can’t wear our hair in locks or braids because that’s unprofessional. That’s the world we live in everyday. A woman doesn’t want to come “home” and hear the same dissatisfaction of their appearance or behavior from her man or from men as a whole.
Doing our hair is therapy for a lot of us. It’s the one thing we do have control over. It’s how we can be creative. It’s the one thing in our culture we won’t allow anyone to take from us. We can color it, add to it, cut it, braid it down and throw a wig on, twist it, lock it, wear it in a bun, straighten it, curl it, crinkle it, and more. It’s nothing anyone can do or say about it. It’s our thing. I guess with the growing amount of women being liberated through hair, the only thing these men know how to do is tear down their self confidence and tell them they are less than if they wear lace fronts or afros or braids or locks.
Some may say, it’s not that serious. Those “some” would be wrong. At the end of the day, be you queen. Don’t let them decide how you decorate your crown. That’s your hair. It’s your life. And the one thing they should not have a say so over is how you wear your hair. I just ask this, whatever style you choose, just wear it with confidence. Don’t be ashamed of your choice. These guys and corporate America try to dictate a lot about women, but how you wear your hair should not be controlled.